Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize