that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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