a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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