jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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