just come out here and I will go home with you...
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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