and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
