she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
