There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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