i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
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