Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
