Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I licked your asshole in confidence.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
