I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
