What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
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