The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
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