just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Randomize
