I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
