thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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