I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize