her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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