We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
