you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
