i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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