I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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