She said her name was "party"
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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