haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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