Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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