i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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