Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
