I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I got her a Nickelback box set.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
