Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
