If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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