O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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