why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
