a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
