my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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