she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.