toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
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And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
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Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...