Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
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so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra