Texts From Last Night

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  (718): View more from New York

  My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.

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  (718): My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life. http://tfl.nu/tfvf
  Replies (35) Good night (538) Bad night (4629) Order T-Shirt
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"

  (1-732): View more from New Jersey

  did i?

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  (732): you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?" (1-732): did i? http://tfl.nu/syum
  Replies (33) Good night (7581) Bad night (686) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule

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  (718): They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule http://tfl.nu/5d7q
  Replies (44) Good night (933) Bad night (3278) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back

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  (203): Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back http://tfl.nu/t7ho
  Replies (63) Good night (2121) Bad night (3935) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.

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  (973): we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical. http://tfl.nu/h352
  Replies (131) Good night (14252) Bad night (2896) Order T-Shirt
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.

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  (740): Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level. http://tfl.nu/r4mw
  Replies (21) Good night (4326) Bad night (665) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.

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  (941): Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low. http://tfl.nu/swva
  Replies (33) Good night (882) Bad night (6361) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is

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  (401): If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is http://tfl.nu/twoy
  Replies (19) Good night (4392) Bad night (744) Order T-Shirt
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  (210): View more from Texas

  i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon

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  (210): i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon http://tfl.nu/oe7m
  Replies (4) Good night (1537) Bad night (753) Order T-Shirt
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?

  (773): View more from Illinois

  To be honest, kinda.

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  (708): For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly? (773): To be honest, kinda. http://tfl.nu/5ciz
  Replies (13) Good night (1386) Bad night (3751)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.

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  (518): Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone. http://tfl.nu/sx9j
  Replies (10) Good night (666) Bad night (1289) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.

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  (570): If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene. http://tfl.nu/rk7g
  Replies (2) Good night (426) Bad night (1156) Order T-Shirt
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  (415): View more from California

  You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.

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  (415): You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink. http://tfl.nu/i804
  Replies (1) Good night (288) Bad night (1024) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.

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  (425): Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am. http://tfl.nu/noe3
  Replies (1) Good night (1384) Bad night (330) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.

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  (617): The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie. http://tfl.nu/3kb9
  Replies (16) Good night (1131) Bad night (352)

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