its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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