Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(308): View more from Nebraska

i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.

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(303): View more from Colorado

After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."

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(501): View more from Arkansas

he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???

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(210): View more from Texas

By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE

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These 23 People Are Living Shocking Lies
Read it at the TFLN blog
(920): View more from Wisconsin

She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.

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(336): View more from North Carolina

I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.

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(609): View more from New Jersey

He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."

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