wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
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I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
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My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.