guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties