please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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