yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Randomize
