just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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