I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Randomize
