k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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