maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
