Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
