Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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