part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
