Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
