I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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