I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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