Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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