Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
