She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
