I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize