I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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