ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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