Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Randomize
