So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
