He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
