dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Randomize
