We're facebook friends in real life
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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