its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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