the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
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